Monday, November 5, 2012

Bikini Turkey instructions just in time for Thanksgiving

You’ve seen the photos and chuckled to yourself or maybe you even LOL or know someone who ROFL or a cousin who literally LMBOPMP (laughed my butt off and peed my pants) when they saw the bikini turkey. 

Whether the turkey is for a Holiday meal or just a great meal during the year, you can have some fun with your guests and family when the turkey comes out of the oven sporting a bikini.  It’s not hard and will create no end of jokes and fun at the table when you serve it.



Other Necessities
Tin foil
Your humor

1)      Choosing the right size for the turkey.
Allow 12 ounces per person (whole bone in turkey)

2)      Preheat oven to 325°F
Be sure that the turkey is completely thawed.  Remove the neck and giblets from inside the turkey cavity.  Wash the turkey and pat dry.

Now, using your creative juices use your scissors to cut out a bikini bottom from the tin foil and place on the turkey.  You may want to create a pattern so it looks good on her.

To create the bikini top lay out a piece of tin foil and use a small juice glass to draw two circles.  Design the bra top and draw them on the foil.  Cut and place over the turkey breast to complete your ensemble.

Undo the wings and lift over the turkey’s neck.  Tie the wings together using cooking twine.

Spray your roasting pan with non-stick spray and place turkey in the pan.

3)      Make sure the tin foil is smoothed flat on the skin.  Sprinkle the turkey with Sage (or other herb(s) of your choice to give the turkey additional great flavor.  Then sprinkle generously with Paprika which will give Ms. Turkey that beautiful ‘just back from the islands’ golden tan – don’t be too shy about it.  Pat the herbs against the skin so they will adhere to the turkey.

Use a moist paper towel to gently wipe off any excess herbs that are stuck to the tin foil bikini.  This will ensure that she doesn’t get any sand in her britches (or any herbs under the foil).
Bake the turkey in the oven using the below recommended times.  When the turkey is over half of its cooking time, carefully remove the bikini.  Allow the turkey to finish cooking.

Un-Stuffed Turkey
6 to 8 lbs. – 2 ½ to 3 hours
8 to 12 lbs. – 3 to 4 hours
12 to 16 lbs. – 4 to 5 hours
16 to 20 lbs. – 5 to 5 ½ hours
20 to 24 lbs. – 5 ½ to 6 hours

Stuffed Turkey
6 to 8 lbs. – 3 to 3 ½ hours
8 to 12 lbs. – 3 ½ to 4 ½ hours
12 to 16 lbs. – 4 ½ to 5 ½ hours
16 to 20 lbs. – 5 ½ to 6 hours
20 to 24 lbs. – 6 to 6 ½ hours

When done the turkey should reach 170°F – 180°F in the thickest part of the thigh.

4)      When the turkey is finished cooking, remove from the oven and ‘hide’ the girl under a foil blanket to ensure the surprise of all when you place her on the table.  This will also allow you to finish up any other unfinished preparations you may have for your meal.

Do your best to keep the secret to get the most out of your surprise.  Enjoy the fun and jokes.

Happy Holidays!

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